Now that I am older, I really want to thank you for never leaving me in the shopping trolley and running for the exit.I promise when you get really old and forgetful I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after you pee, or feed the cat food to your cat and not yourself.I’m so glad I found someone who’s the same type of weird as me.Happy birthday to a person who is truly brilliant, incredibly gorgeous, unbelievably funny and extremely lucky to have been blessed with my DNA.Does that mean you actually started to take the trash out? Happy birthday. Your wife say you’re definitely getting better with age.You’ve always been the brother I’ve look up to, until I realized that I am way cooler than you.Happy birthday to a dad who helped me grow into the type of person he’s not embarrassed to take credit for raising.Oh wait, you already have all that you wish for. Happy birthday from the one who endures your farts and still loves you anyway.If I were going to ditch you I would have done it during your teenage years. Remember that I will always be here for you.Just wanted to remind you that today is mom’s birthday and that makes me the better child for remembering.Brother at least one of us has inherited the brains, all the charm and the looks! Shame it wasn’t you! Have a great day.I’m your girlfriend and I’m already the greatest gift that you can ever get. It’s a little difficult to choose a gift for you because I didn’t even want to get you one. Notice I didn’t mention anything about the teenage years. You were a wonderful child and you’ve become a wonderful man.I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. To my brother who still owes me several big ones.Happy birthday to a son that is smart, good looking and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.Happy Birthday to my big sister who will always hit every decade before me!.Your birthdays are really expensive, but you’re worth it. For some reason, when I go birthday shopping for you, I end up finding a lot more gifts for myself.
I know how sensitive old folks are about their age. I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age.May you grow so old that you unintentionally frighten small children.Happy birthday! Here’s to being immature for a lifetime.I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire-extinguisher under the table. Just letting you know the tablecloth is flame resistant.The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing the candles.You’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory! I t’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by, ‘for your age’.You have everything you had twenty years ago.Congratulations on being another year closer to being able to get the senior discount!.I’m wishing you a happy birthday before you’re too drunk to remember that it’s your birthday!.Some people would say that your birthday is just another good excuse to have a really good booze up with your mates.
It’s your birthday, but make sure you get all your presents before you get drunk and offensive.The secret to a great birthday is not remembering what happened that day.Just wanted to be the first person to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers.Your birthday is the perfect excuse to drink on a weekday.HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES FUNNY BIRTHDAY CARDS